It’s less than a week to APCO. I’ve two more shifts left
to work and I can’t wait to get out of town. The smart person would fly to Las
Vegas from Reno but not me. Nope. I’m driving. So, you ask, why would I cram
myself into a car for seven to eight hours in the summer heat instead of a short 1.3 hour flight?
Why indeed…well, I’ll tell you.
First: plain and simply put, I hate to fly. If the Great
Goddess had meant me to soar through the air, she’d have given me a grand set
of wings. From day one, after breathing my first breath, no extra appendages
burst from my shoulders, therefore the Powers That Be sent a pretty strong
message to me: KEEP YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND.
Second: how many Dispatchers make enough money to afford
First Class tickets? Not this gal! Which
means I’m stuck buying the cheapest seats I can find. This normally means the
cattle-call companies (no names but we all know which company that is). Hey, I
am not knocking them – I like the
peanuts but I don’t care for getting squeezed between the guy who hasn’t bathe
in a week and the chatty woman on her fifth ‘Red Bull’ in an hour.
Third: I hate to fly (oh wait, I already said that).
Fourth: the airport lines. You meet a lot of interesting
folks while waiting in the lines. Like the drunk guy wearing a Manchester
United shirt yelling “Mank or wank.” He thinks he’s going to a soccer (football
anywhere but the USA) game when he is actually enroute to see a magic show. His
buddies keep giggling when he asks what time the kick-off is. Sure, I went through
the pre-check process for TSA so I wouldn’t have to do this. But so did half of
America. So much for slipping through faster and they aren’t open all the time.
When you go through the regular lines, you still have to do the routine even
though you paid & went through the background check. What was the point?
Oh, and hope your luggage arrives at the same destination, at the same time, as
you do.
Have you ever read the same print of your ticket? Once
you step aboard the plane, you are theirs! The pilot or staff can move you
around or order you off and give your seat away. That’s right, the seat you
paid for in good faith. Be nice and negotiate. You might get a cash offer with
another flight but you will take another flight if you pick you to hasta la vista
the plane.
Fifth: the actual flight is nerve-racking for me. You
don’t know what is going on unless the pilot updates you. One moment you are
sitting in your seat, reading a book or playing a game, and then OOOPS, the
plane bounces or drops. The pilot comes over the comm link and says “Sorry
folks, just a little turbulence.” A little? The Flight Attendant hit the
ceiling with that last pocket of air! You look outside and see flashes of
lightning or the wings flexing.
At least when I drive, I can decide the pace and
direction. I can stop when I feel like it. I can listen to my own music. No one
is snoring in my ear. If the weather gets bad, I can stop and wait it out.
Please, a dental filling without anesthetic sounds more
appealing.
Yes, I know, sometimes we have to fly. I can hardly drive
a car across an ocean. There are times when time is a factor and I must take an
airplane. Those are white-knuckle moments. Did I mention how I hate to fly? I
can’t even drink to take off the edge (altitude plus alcohol=instant migraine).
I just want to get through the last couple of shifts. The
smoke here is off the charts. I feel horrible for the folks dealing with the
fires. My heart goes out to them.
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